5 reasons I’m too old to have seen Twilight Eclipse in the theater at midnight on opening night

I went to the 12:01 am showing last night of Twilight Eclipse.

I didn’t realize there WAS a 12:01 am anymore.

Seriously…10:30 pm and I am crawling into bed.

Let’s face it, 37 29 is very, very close to elderly.

We got there early, before 11 pm and it was PACKED.  We were pretty much at the end of the line that filled the entire sold out theater.  And guess where we had to sit?  Second row.  While that may be good for those of us ancient folks with bad eyesight, my neck is now permanently fixed with my head angled upward like I’m looking at the tops of trees.  I propose a rule….movie theaters should seat you by age.  I probably would have been seated first.

Anyhow, aside from struggling to stay awake until the movie started, dealing with umpteen-million previews and enduring flash bulbs from people taking pictures of each other in a semi-darkened movie theater before it started, it actually was really good.  Although I wouldn’t have expected otherwise.  I’m a fan, so it would have taken a lot to mess it up.

But, as I returned home at 3 am in the morning (yeah, there’s one of those too – who knew?), I joked to myself that there are “5 reasons I’m too old to have seen Eclipse in the theater at midnight on opening night“.

And here they are in no particular order:

1. The super hunky, oh-so-adorable dude not wearing a shirt the whole movie was born when I was 20. That’s right. He could call me “mom”.  He’s also technically old enough to have his own kid.  So, basically in his world, I’m a grandmother.
2. I could barely walk and made creaking sounds like cracking tree branches when it ended and I stood up from being so stiff from sitting in one place.  Oh and my neck HURTS.
3. Girls GIGGLED throughout the entire movie. Girls. Probably as young as Taylor Lautner. Probably old enough to have my grandchildren.
4. The romantic scenes had me wondering about the states of the virtues of all the young girls in the theater.  I might have even been slightly embarrassed to watch those scenes thinking half of the girls in the theater should be at home playing with Barbie dolls, not watching a romantic vampire movie.
5. My bladder cannot endure an entire movie and even though I didn’t drink anything for 3 hours before, didn’t drink any of the soda I snuck in inside my bag, and peed 3 minutes before the movie started, by halfway through I had to go.

Would I do it again?

This morning, I’ll say no.

But like childbirth, I’m willing to bet after the initial pain wears off, I’ll be crazy enough to do it again.  For breaking Dawn.  In two parts.  And seriously I’ll probably be 40 before the series ends.  Maybe I’ll be rich enough to buy out an entire theater by then.

A girl old lady can dream right?

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