This morning as I was feeding Abby a bottle she began making some offensive sounds and odors, so after her bottle, even though she was supposed to go back to sleep, I had to change her (which means she would be wired and not go back to sleep).

What I discovered when I opened the diaper was beyond words and I won’t gross anyone out, although there is part of me that wants too.

It turned out she had a little bit of a rash too from the offensive toxic poop and the cream I had on the changing table was squeezed all the way to the end. Since lately I have been changing her on the floor due her tendency towards aerobics, I went into her closet to find more diaper rash cream while she crawled around neked on the floor. I had one full tube, Target brand left and proceeded to open it. I always buy generic when I can and have never had a problem.

Until now….

I opened the tube and tried to squeeze the cream out while holding onto my squirming naked child so she remained on the diaper and right-side up. Nothing happened. So I closed the tube and shook it and squeezed it a little bit. Sometimes the Desitin brand takes some urging on first use, so maybe did this too. I opened it again, still struggling to maintain control over the octopus Abby seems to have turned into and all of a sudden a runny white watery substance came shooting out of the tube all over my hand and down my arm. Certainly not the consistency that it was supposed to be, it was the original style cream, not the creamy kind. I proceeded to try and get as much of this on Abby’s bottom as I could, again while trying to keep her right-side up. It was a nightmare and none of it would stick!

In the end, all covered with this stuff (plus some of it got on the carpet) I managed to squeeze enough out of the old tube to cover her and make her comfortable.

Lessons learned:

1. Don’t buy Target brand diaper rash cream
2. Diaper changing is a team sport

If you believe you’ve had an “Accidental Mommy” moment that you want us to read about, check out the following post for more information on how to receive an “Accidental Mommy” Moment Badge: How to have an “Accidental Mommy” moment.

You start with 1 thing.

You start by being a mommy.

That is pretty much a prerequisite, there is no getting around that one.

Next, can be one, or a combination of either of these things:

1. You find yourself in a situation where you are doing or saying (with or about or for your kids) something you never though you would do or say in a million years.
2. You can have any number of things happen, any of which put into question, by either yourself or the casual observer that maybe, just maybe, you might not have the skills or stamina necessary to survive the event or events.

Finally, you survive and come out a better and stronger mommy in the end!

For a perfect example of an “Accidental Mommy” moment, check out When did a trip to the Mall have to become so, you know, difficult? over at Table For Five.

If you believe you have had an “Accidental Mommy” moment and would like to display or post a badge proudly announcing that fact, contact us with a link to your post that describes it and we will take a look and award you a badge!

Why is it that little boys wait until the very, very last minute to go to the bathroom that they end up having to run at full speed to the toilet and often aren’t fast enough and pee on their shorts?

By the end of the day I often have a big pile of little shorts in the corner of the bathroom that were unfortunate recipients of “too much pee, too little time!”

I thought it was my imagination that I was doing so much laundry!

Funny how the word pee has become as commonplace as any other word in my vocabulary like sleep or sanity - although sanity is not so common around here anymore.

This week my husband has been spending his evenings helping out his buddy who operates a store that sells fireworks. Fireworks are legal here in Indiana and the Fourth of July is my husband’s favorite holiday!

Anyhow, with him gone in the evenings, I am stuck with the responsibility of making dinner for my children (well, Abby is easy…baby food or formula).

I’m pretty sure that I’ve mentioned this before, but I am a disaster in the kitchen. I’ve tried to cook for my family but it is just not a skill I possess. So this week we’ve eaten no less than 3 frozen pizzas, Taco Bell and cereal for dinner. I let my son choose!

The good news is, I’ve actually learned how to cook a frozen pizza! All 3 times I remembered to remove the cardboard, unlike this incident I posted about awhile back: A little cardboard never hurt anyone.

Yesterday, I had this conversation with Olivia while I was in the shower.

Me: “Olivia, I can’t hear you, is this an emergency?”

Olivia: “YES! My sleep mask fell in the toilet!”

Me: “Did you get it out or flush it?”

Olivia: “No, I got it.”

Me: “Well, put it in the sink. Did it fall in before or after you went to the bathroom?”

Olivia: “I already put it in the sink. I don’t know when it fell off - it was just in there when I stood up!”

Can I go back to bed? I am NOT ready for parenting.

I’ve mentioned before that we recently painted my daughter’s room, and that we painted it pink…pink on pink.

Here are a couple of photos, we love the way it turned out!

during painting

Guess who got stuck doing the taping?

finished product

Yes, even the ceiling fan is pink, er…I mean light red!

(By the way, the whole room isn’t striped, just that one wall)

I have pretty much worked since I was 15, at least when I wasn’t going to school. After college in 1995 (gasp) I started working a full time professional job and did that until November 2007. That is when the hard work really began.

In November 2007, right before the birth of my daughter, I became a stay at home mom. Basically it is everything I thought it would be, but it certainly has presented some challenges that I never expected.

First, I can no longer use “a hard day at work” as an excuse for my behavior. Sure, full time mommy is not easy, but seriously - I don’t have to deal with anyone else except 2 people that I have complete and total control over (snort). But at least I no longer have to deal with clients and weather and deadlines and all the rest of the stuff that goes along with it.

Second, at the end of the day there is no longing to “finally get to see my kids,” it is all about trying to get Daddy to take them so I can have a few minutes of peace. Or at least go to the bathroom - finally.

Also, there is an extreme lack of adult interaction and conversation. It’s no wonder so many of us have taken to our computers and created a world of blogging friends.

And finally (and I say finally for the purpose of this post…I could go on for days) there are a number of words that describe bodily functions that I never would have even spelled out loud in the past that now get used practically hourly in my vocabulary.

Here are a few other observations I have made since becoming a stay at home mom:

• I have no idea what day it is. Ever.
• Gerber brand Onsies run very small.
• It’s futile to change into a clean shirt after being spit-up on.
• ‘Time to myself’ is another way of saying I’m going to the bathroom.
• It takes 4 hands to diaper, bathe or change a 7 month old baby (and alas I’m of the 2-handed variety).
• The holding capacity of a diaper is inversely proportional to its proximity to your clothing.
• Babies just don’t care that you have to pee and have had to for the last 3 hours.

All in all, though, I think I’m adapting pretty well. My kids get outside as much as possible, we visit parks and have even ventured out to Chuck E. Cheese. They haven’t made any complaints about my presence in the house and I enjoy that my job is taking care of my kids.

If I could only get the stains out of my shirts and get Abby to stop pulling my hair, then it would almost be perfect!

This post was written as an essay for entry into a Makeover contest where you can ENTER TO WIN a FREE $10,000 makeover from Artefill! Sign-up and entry are easy and the essay just has to be 500 words or less about change in your life. You must be 35 or older though! We’ve all experienced change, go write about it for a chance to win a makeover.

Have you ever had one of those moments with your kids where you stop and look and are hit with the reality that time passes way too fast?

Today I put Abby in her high chair to give her some of her favorite snack, some blueberries, and I turned and looked at her and noticed how much higher she sits in the seat. I also noticed how much more steady she was sitting up instead of leaning to one side like she seemed to do just yesterday.

And now as she sits up in her bouncer that she is way too big for, and leans over the side and plays with the carpet I realize that she is almost 7 months old. Soon her main goal will be to crawl and then walk and then run away from me rather than be held by me. I’ve already started to notice a bit more independence when she plays on the floor with her toys, or lets someone else besides Mom entertain her.

As much as she has NOT been an easy baby, I’m pretty sure I’m going to miss her being a baby. I am going to miss the adorable way she shakes her hands even when she doesn’t have a rattle in them, almost like she’s testing to see if there is anything there and the way she imitates me when I blow raspberries in the air at her or squeal.

I’m not usually this deep and introspective, as you could probably tell, but this morning it really hit me hard. We have a little chant around here that goes something like this:

“no more babies”

“we don’t want, no more babies”

My son and I chant that at Abby when she is particularly crabby (you know, most days) and although we mean it, and she is our “last” baby (not kidding, no way, no how, no more), I think there will always be a part of me that will yearn for, if not another baby, the days when mine were babies.

In the end, this post really did end up being an “Accidental Mommy moment” because I never would have thought I’d experience these kinds of thoughts over anything other than a cat.

I have no idea what is going on in this picture, but I actually like not knowing. It’s like they have a secret joke or something fun they were sharing that only they know about.

I took the kids to a spray park this afternoon.  While we had a great time, I had a very Accidental Mommy moment.   A little girl left the spray area and was wandering around looking for her mom.  She was starting to get panicked, so I tried to help.  As we were looking around, she said “Oh!  I’m peeing.”  And, she let loose right there on the sidewalk.  Then she was off to the spray area like nothing had happened.

I am an Architect, albeit not currently a practicing one. If you say the words “flat iron” an Architect thinks of 1 thing and 1 thing only - The Fuller Building in NYC, otherwise known as The Flatiron Building.

Well, apparently a flat iron isn’t a building, at least in popular culture. This is a celebrity using a flat iron. It is obviously NOT a building.

So now, I am intrigued. Partially because I read that the flat iron this celebrity is using is worth a million dollars. I’m also confused because you can easily buy a building for a million dollars. Maybe not The Flatiron Building, but definitely some building or another.

I did some research.

Wikipedia was no help as a search for “what is flat iron” brought up info on The Flatiron Building. I did find out, which was sort of obvious by the celebrity photo, that a flat iron is basically a hair straightener. The opposite of a curling iron. I have stick straight hair so I have no use for one of these. Plus I’m also an “Accidental Mommy” which makes me the opposite of someone who has any knowledge of hair tools other than comb and brush.

If you happen to be in the market for a flat iron, do not bother to visit a real estate website. Instead visit http://www.misikko.com. They have plenty of flat irons / hair straighteners for a lot less than the celebrity allegedly paid for hers.

From their site:

A flat iron is a flexible styling tool that has come a long way from the scary torture devices of ages past. Flat irons today are safe, gentle on your hair and can be used not only to straighten, but also to make quick curls and flips. Like any tool, the key is knowing how to use it!

Seriously, the same can be said for a building….

What is it about a screaming, crying child that causes other children to scream and cry? Is it a full moon? Am I a horrible person and this is retribution raining down upon me? Is there some sort of poison in the air affecting their brains?

Last night, while we were supposed to be sleeping (not that we ever get any…or not that I ever get any) both of my children decided to cry and scream for no apparent reason. The 6 month old, well, I understand that she’s a baby and doesn’t need a reason, but the 4 year old…sheeesh… When asked why he was crying, and what was wrong, he insisted it was nothing yet he continued to wail.

All the while…

My husband slept.

Isn’t that just mean and rude?

How Accidental Mommy is this?