Big giant **** little tiny body

WARNING…THIS IS ONE OF THOSE “TOO MUCH INFORMATION” TYPE STORIES SO DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU!

Jake has apparently not been getting enough fiber in his diet. He’s definately not been regular the past couple of weeks and it has been causing him some discomfort. He’s been potty trained almost since he turned three last December but he has had some problems once in a while, which is normal according to the pediatrician.

Yesterday we found him hiding in the basement holding the back of his pants with his rear end stuck out and he was grunting. I;m pretty sure his irregularity has caused him to be afraid to “go” because it hurt the last time. Anyhow, we got him on the toilet a couple of times last evening with no success.

After dinner I had him running around in his underwear (which he hates…which is weird….most males like running around with no pants on – especially in our family) in order to encourage him to “go” immediately when he felt the urge. I also promised him a special surprise if he “went” on the potty before bed.

By 7:30 he had finally had success and proudly yelled from the bathroom “Mommy, I pooped, come look!”

I yelled back, “ask Daddy to help you.”

Jake yelled, “Daddy, come here, I pooped!”

After a brief pause, Ed said, “Wow! Look at that thing! It’s huge!”

Jake yelled, “Mommy, come look, it’s huge!”

Against my better judgement, but knowing I needed to encourage his proud achievement, I went and looked.

Yes, yes I did.

And you know what? It was huge!

Ed helped him get cleaned up and then flushed the toilet. It gurgled a little bit and filled with water. As he pulled the plunger out, Jake reminded me that I promised him a special surprise. As I searched the kitchen for said “special surprise” (yes, it was a bluff) I could hear Ed repeatedly plunging and flushing the toilet. Finally, in the deep freeze, I found some frozen cookie dough in 4 bright primary colors and figured I’d quickly make him a colorful cookie.

As I was preparing the “special surprise” and put it in the oven, Ed passed through the kitchen and went outside to the garage. he returned moments later with a big giant metal stick with a handle on one end and a metal spiral thingy on the other – he called in the big guns….not the tiny hand snake, but the BIG ONE!

After about 10 minutes the cookie finished cooking and Ed finally got the toilet unplugged. By then, Jake was so tired he never even ate his “special surprise”.

So the question remains: How did a 20lb piece of **** come out of a 40lb body?

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