I’m not trying to crap on your post, but I have my own set of issues….

Two weeks ago (give or take) I had a terrible cold that would not go away. The worst of it was the gunk in my lungs that I kept coughing up which would set off a gag reflex. Very pretty…

Anyway, I read somewhere that coughing can make you go into labor so I was very paranoid but sometimes I just couldn’t help it and the coughing was quite violent.

A few days ago I started getting this sharp pain in my ribs when I coughed that turned into a sharp pain in my ribs when I simply moved. Someone told me I may have cracked a rib from coughing.

Great.

Like labor isn’t bad enough on it’s own.

Today it still hurts but mainly if I cough or laugh or sneeze (I may never sneeze again after the pain I just inflicted upon myself). It does hurt when I move but more of a throb than the sharp pain I was getting before. I have a doctors appointment this afternoon, but seriously I doubt they can do anything for me even if it is a broken rib. The fun part of pregnancy is that I won’t get any happy drugs to make it feel better either.

Like I don’t have enough on my plate….

Hmmm….I don’t have cool wrestler names for my affliction….

How is that something as small as a germ can bring down a family?  Last week, Madeline was fighting a sore throat/slight fever/low energy bug.  Thursday night, Michael started throwing up, then Madeline woke up sounding very croup-y.  I got both of them back to bed and then collapsed into mine.  When I woke up, I felt like I was in the middle of a 1950’s wrestling match.  On this side of the bed, we have the Croupy Crusher and on the other side the Vicious Vomiter.  Same thing on Friday night.  Olivia’s birthday party was supposed to be on Saturday night; unfortunately, we had to cancel.  Good thing too - she woke up this morning with a sore throat.  I ended up with a hybrid of the two - achy, sore throat and exhaustion.

How to Shop Safely Online While Saving Time and a Ton of Money!

Okay, so it’s not really hard to get published on Associated Content but it’s still something.

The article is essentially the same as the resources that I have begun adding to the Accidental Mommies site, but I would appreciate everyone checking it out through the link above and voting for the article (5 stars would be preferred…).

Also, in the near future I plan on having a downloadable PDF file of the article as well for easier reading.

Jake and I were driving around today running errands and one of our errands was to pick up some boxes for moving from the moving company. They had some used ones and were giving them to us free. I like free. I’m cheap. Anyhow, the general location of the moving company was pretty easy to find set back in an industrial park. It’s actual specific location had me driving around a bit and I had to turn around once. I was talking out loud much of the time asking “where is this place?” and saying “I’m not quite sure where I’m going.”

We eventually found the place and got our boxes and as we were leaving the industrial park Jake asked “do you know where you are going?” (a smart alec comment to begin with….)

I said to him, “yes, I know where I’m going, do you know where YOU are going?”

Jake responded, “no, but I’m not driving.”

Uh-huh….

The three year old got the better of me AGAIN!

All I could do was laugh.

“The Host”

“Patient Zero”

Whatever you want to call him, Jake has brought the plague onto our family only to be immune to it himself.

The joys of sending ones child out into the world to interact with others. It’s bad enough I pay tuition, get roped into bringing snacks and volunteering to help at parties (thank goodness for my Mother-In-Law…she’s apparently a REAL mommy), but now the greatest inconvenience of them all occurs. My husband and I both get the cold from hell and Jake is running around as healthy as ever.

I’ve heard the stories, I admit I was warned. In fact, I seem to recall Lori telling me some kind of story about ‘hoof and mouth disease’ in her family. Not sure I even want to know what that is.

The worst part is my husband is taking all kinds of fun nighttime cold medicines and drinking vodka and orange juice and I’m stuck simply with Tylenol and plain old juice.

Moan…..

This video is too easy for me to relate to. I can’t even count how many times office machines did not do what they were supposed to only to come back either with toner all over me or worse yet, bleeding from sharp machine innards. I’ve never resorted to this kind of behavior, I limit my reactions to slight kicking and profanity.

I’m curious to know if this is an actual hidden camera scenario or if it was staged.

I found this recipe online:

Title: FRENCH FRY SPAM CASSEROLE
Categories: Main dish
Yield: 8 servings

Heat oven to 350′F. In large bowl, combine potatoes, cheese, sour
cream, and soup. Stir in SPAM, bell pepper, and green onion. Spoon
into 13×9 baking dish. Sprinkle with crushed flakes. Bake 30-40
minutes or until thoroughly heated.

Sounds appetizing, eh?

Some of the things people eat are just not meant to be combined together….some things just aren’t meant to be eaten at all.

Tonight my husband and I were making dinner….well I was sitting at the table keeping him company while he cooked. Jake was playing in the hallway with his Leappad.

After awhile I noticed how quiet it was in the hallway and went to look for him. The first place I looked was at the computer because he tends to sneak in there to play checkers. He wasn’t there. I then looked in the living room. Still no Jake.

Confused, I made towards his room, although his light was off and I peered in.

You are not going to believe what he was doing.

Didja guess?

He was alseep in his bed. He had turned his fan on (he’s always slept with it on, even in winter), covered himself up, and went to sleep.

We’re still sort of in shock. This kind of thing just doesn’t happen with a three year old.

Twice this week, we’ve had salesmen doing seriously hard sell tactics.  On Monday afternoon, an old guy pulls up and offers to put a new 2″ topping of asphalt on the driveway for $1600.  But, I had to decide there and then.  He had guys in town and they needed the work to fill in that afternoon.  He gave me a lot of “I swear to God” and “Trust me”.  He was really in my face.  Then, when I told him that we would pass because I had no idea if that was a good price (is it?) he got really mad.  Excuse me?  Did I ask you to come all the way out here and give me a quote?  He really seemed to think that this reaction was going to push me over to the positive side.  How was I to know whether he was even a contractor and not some con man?  Anybody can slap a magnetic sign on their truck.

Next, we’ve had this ‘cancer insurance’ salesguy lurking about.  The thing I really hate about these guys, is the fact that they use your neighbors’ names and whether they’ve purchased this insurance to try and get you to buy it.  “Oh, so-and-so just bought a $50K policy from me.  He liked that it provided…..”  If I did buy this stuff, I certainly don’t want my neighbors knowing all my business.  It’s bad enough that they know what they do.  Then they get so pissy when you reject them.  My husband was dealing with this guy, and used my absence the first time as an excuse.  The salesman then makes some snarky comment about the wife being ‘in charge of that stuff’.  Which, we all know, is code for ”Buddy, your whipped.  Who wears the pants in your house?”  Again, did I ask you to come and give me a quote?  Get away from me.

Not the way to make a sale, in my opinion.

WARNING…THIS IS ONE OF THOSE “TOO MUCH INFORMATION” TYPE STORIES SO DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU!

Jake has apparently not been getting enough fiber in his diet. He’s definately not been regular the past couple of weeks and it has been causing him some discomfort. He’s been potty trained almost since he turned three last December but he has had some problems once in a while, which is normal according to the pediatrician.

Yesterday we found him hiding in the basement holding the back of his pants with his rear end stuck out and he was grunting. I;m pretty sure his irregularity has caused him to be afraid to “go” because it hurt the last time. Anyhow, we got him on the toilet a couple of times last evening with no success.
Read the rest of this entry »

CANKLES!

I can’t believe it.

I got up from my desk to use the bathroom…for the gazillionth time this evening only to look down and discover them.

They were hard to miss.

And they are eating my feet.

Ones ankles should not be wider than the ball of ones foot….

Seriously…

Isn’t it bad enough everything else on my body has grown to epic proportions, now the last body parts that had retained some semblance of NOT THE MICHELIN MAN has been lost.

Pretty soon I’ll be a pool of mushy goo….

It’s really sad that I’ve come to saying this…but I miss my feet.