Picture this:
Mom and baby on floor getting ready to change a VERY stinky diaper (what does this kid eat?).
Mom gets all the proper accessories ready at arms reach. Clean diaper. Wipes. Desitin. Gas mask…wait…she was wearing the gas mask. Rubber gloves (fool a mom once…). Medical waste disposal bag. Ok, so maybe that last one was an exaggeration.
Mom removes front of diaper, lifts baby’s legs with left hand and grabs a wipe with the right hand. She manages to get cute little bottom about half-way clean when baby decides she’s a gymnast.
Baby straightens body, lifts butt off floor and twists to her right leaving her essentially doing a half headstand while mom still has a hold of her ankles and her bottom is still covered in mushy goo.
Mom tries to get her to put her butt down (can they attach a prosthetic as a third arm?) but only manages to get the baby into an even more vertical position as baby fights her and she still can’t clean up dirty bottom.
So.
What does a mom do?
Well, this hypothetical mom first tried reason. She said “hey, stop that!” Then tried, “look, you…I have to clean you up.” Finally she tried, “ok, I’m the boss of you and you can’t do that!”
Funny, those didn’t work.
Even funnier….she thought they would.
In the end, the mom could not tame the wild beast and let her go do what she wanted to do….crawl around her room naked with toxic waste oozing onto the carpet.
Obviously modest and cleanliness are not top priorities for a baby. The mom needs to go research Vegas vacations. She desperately needs one!
Hypothetically…
About Kim
Been there done that…oh wait I am still doing that :) LOL! Oh how I can’t wait for our 4 year old to be potty trained…but she is developmentally disabled and multiply handicapped…so she has to get over some obstacles before she does the whole potty training thing…mainly start crawling or walking. We have been working with her and she will get it someday. Meanwhile I have two in diapers now…her and her little sister who is 4 months.
Oh that is so diaper changing these days at our house. Ugh! And you are too funny.:D
I am gearing up for potty training as soon as school starts since P3 now basically refuses to remain laying down to allow you to put her new diaper on. Most of the time she tells me when she has just finished going potty in her diaper now as well as poop so I am in hopes of a short process!
I’m still laughing about Summer being a diaper ninja! ;)
But seriously, aren’t babies fun? When too exasperated, simply smell baby’s head and count baby’s miraculous little fingers and toes. That will get you back into a better place. :D
Oh I remember those times!! Just too much fun (and glad to not be going back). I just have to wonder, where do they get those moves?? Must take after dad!!
Oh we have definitely had those moments! NOT fun!!!
Oh man. I had that day last week. Lucian REFUSES to lay still while I try to change ANY of his diapers. Buh!
HA HA HA HA I sure don’t miss those days better you than me.SORRY :)
LOL! That is one reason I hate changing dirty diapers on the floor! They always think it’s time to escape. Luckily I can usually call my 12 year old to come help. She doesn’t appreciate being that close to the smell, though!